Okay, I know I promised info on my trip to OKC but I am soooo tired right now. I've been running like crazy today between submitting resumes for jobs and drama practice with the teens and a meeting with my Jockey sponsor, I am wiped out. (BTW - I did end up getting an interview at the Andover city offices for a position as an administrative secretary! Please be praying that the interview would go well and they would want me. The interview is tomorrow, Friday, June 29th at 10 am.)
So, I'm not going to give the promised pictures but I did want to leave an update concerning my conversation with Judy at Gladney. She is such a sweet person and I really feel great about working with her. I talked to her for a bit about our situation and she said that Gladney or the home study agency might ask us to hold off just a bit but that hasn't been determined just yet. For right now, she gave me a list of documents I can begin to track down and suggested we find a home study agency. She also said that when Nathan gets home, we can go ahead and do the phone orientation. Nathan is really excited about that and was asking tonight about when we could get that orientation going. The whole process is very exciting for me and I adore paperwork so I'm hoping I have a tad bit less stress than some other folks have dealt with. Judy gave me a great website lead today also. www.vitalchek.com is a place you can go and purchase certified copies of birth certificates, death certificates, marriage certs, and divorce decrees from anywhere in the country for a minimal fee. So, the plan for now is to track down the certified copies of everything we need and to get Nathan and Karen (Nathan's mom) their passports.
I just got distracted and now I've lost my train of thought. I am so tired right now. I think I got the important info into this post so I'm giving up and going to bed now. Nathan said he counted 28 dots on the map today. I'm glad all 28 of you are reading this. I'm sorry tonight's post was so stupid. :) Good night all...
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
I Am So Blessed...
I've been back from Oklahoma City for a few hours now and I missed my blog the last few days. I also missed my dogs and my house and my bed. I have so much to say about OKC and about some updates on the adoption process and about some cuuuuute items I got for our little one and about the wonderful Ethiopian restaurant we ate at but all those things must wait. Tomorrow I will update with photos and fun details but tonight I have something else I must share.
While I was away I got some terrible news about a friend's situation. To protect her privacy, I won't share any of the details but please pray for her. Pray for peace and for the gentle comfort that only God can give when we are in indescribable pain. Pray for strength and for love and for blessings. Please just ask the Lord to give you the right prayers for this amazing woman. She is one of my dearest friends and I know that she believes in the power of prayer. Her situation is one that caused me to reflect this evening on how grateful I am to be blessed with such an amazing husband. I've devoted a blog (see:waitingonnate.blogspot.com) to sharing my feelings on his deployment to Iraq. But, here I would just like to share a little of my heart for this unbelievable man. Despite the fact that I have never actually lived in the same house as my husband and we have been married a year and a half, he is such an incredible part of my daily life. (I am rocking out the run on sentances this evening...I apologize) Nathan is rock steady. He is my stability, my logic, my voice of reason in the midst of my own craziness. He keeps me going throughout this terribly long journey of ours. He is my encourager, my leader, my supporter, my biggest fan, and my best friend. He is my humor on the humorless days and my sunshine on the darkest days. He makes me believe that I can be the person he thinks I am. He makes me believe that I am beautiful and smart and funny. He has taught me to trust when all other men have taught me to fight. He has taught me to have faith when a situation seems hopeless. He has taught me a little bit about what the love of Christ is like. He isn't perfect by any means but he is a true blessing. He is my heart and for the first time in my life, Nathan has shown me what it feels like to be home.
While I was away I got some terrible news about a friend's situation. To protect her privacy, I won't share any of the details but please pray for her. Pray for peace and for the gentle comfort that only God can give when we are in indescribable pain. Pray for strength and for love and for blessings. Please just ask the Lord to give you the right prayers for this amazing woman. She is one of my dearest friends and I know that she believes in the power of prayer. Her situation is one that caused me to reflect this evening on how grateful I am to be blessed with such an amazing husband. I've devoted a blog (see:waitingonnate.blogspot.com) to sharing my feelings on his deployment to Iraq. But, here I would just like to share a little of my heart for this unbelievable man. Despite the fact that I have never actually lived in the same house as my husband and we have been married a year and a half, he is such an incredible part of my daily life. (I am rocking out the run on sentances this evening...I apologize) Nathan is rock steady. He is my stability, my logic, my voice of reason in the midst of my own craziness. He keeps me going throughout this terribly long journey of ours. He is my encourager, my leader, my supporter, my biggest fan, and my best friend. He is my humor on the humorless days and my sunshine on the darkest days. He makes me believe that I can be the person he thinks I am. He makes me believe that I am beautiful and smart and funny. He has taught me to trust when all other men have taught me to fight. He has taught me to have faith when a situation seems hopeless. He has taught me a little bit about what the love of Christ is like. He isn't perfect by any means but he is a true blessing. He is my heart and for the first time in my life, Nathan has shown me what it feels like to be home.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
As Nathan Calls It - Finance Poop
It's 10:15 pm and I'm preparing to leave for Oklahoma City tomorrow after church with five teens from my youth group. We'll be heading down to stay at Southern Nazarene University so that they can do a college visit and we can play in the city for a couple of days. We'll be returning on Wednesday just before evening church services.
When you're the youth director at a church, everything major revolves around the summer. I keep thinking about what next summer will look like and how it will play out. I am hoping and praying that we will be able to travel to pick up our son sometime next summer. We are praying right now that Nathan and I will be blessed with jobs that will allow us to move forward quickly with this adoption. For the time being I am making very little money doing home daycare for some friends. The youth director position is volunteer. We have been living on Nathan's income from his military service. In just a few short weeks, we will both be searching for full time positions and we are praying that we will find two places that can supply all of our needs and put us in a good position to continue on the path to our son. Please pray with us that God would provide in this area and that we would see His plan for our lives through our job searching. We have both been submitting resumes for a couple of months now with little response but we are trusting God's provision and His timing.
On that same subject, I have stumbled into an opportunity that I am really excited about. As of this week, I will become a Jockey Person to Person Comfort Consultant. I never thought I would get involved with a direct sales business but I LOVE this product line and I love the woman who brought me into the business. It is just getting off the ground as a direct sales company for the woman's clothing line that is produced by Jockey (the underwear company!). The product is wonderful and the opportunity is wonderful. I love that the sizes range from extra small to 3X so that all woman can enjoy the super comfy stuff that I'll be selling. Anyway, please pray with me that this would be an opportunity that would bless our finances and our lives in general. BTW - Nathan and I believe that this is what God is leading me to do mainly because of Jockey's corporate support of adoption. They have an incredible adoption benefit for their corporate employees and they run a post-adoption program for adoptive families all over the country. The founder of the Jockey Person to Person clothing line is adopted herself! Once we discovered this information, we were thrilled that I had the chance to become involved with a company that supports what we are so focused on, the adoption of children! You can check out Jockey's corporate adoption programs at www.jockeybeingfamily.com.
You can also check out the clothing line that I am selling at www.jockeyp2p.com. If you are interested in supporting my business by making a purchase from the catalog or if you are interested in selling Jockey Person to Person yourself, go ahead and leave a comment for me and I'll help you in any way that I can.
BTW - I noticed my dots are growing in number on the map! Thank you all for taking this journey with us. I am so encouraged just to know that people are reading. And Jane - Just so you know - Your blog was the very first Ethio Adoption blog I ever read. When you left your first comment, I told Nathan I felt like a celebrity had contacted me!!! :) I am so thrilled that you are here and I pray for your family. Thank you for your kind words and for your beautiful blog.
Be blessed everyone! See you when I get back from OKC!!!
When you're the youth director at a church, everything major revolves around the summer. I keep thinking about what next summer will look like and how it will play out. I am hoping and praying that we will be able to travel to pick up our son sometime next summer. We are praying right now that Nathan and I will be blessed with jobs that will allow us to move forward quickly with this adoption. For the time being I am making very little money doing home daycare for some friends. The youth director position is volunteer. We have been living on Nathan's income from his military service. In just a few short weeks, we will both be searching for full time positions and we are praying that we will find two places that can supply all of our needs and put us in a good position to continue on the path to our son. Please pray with us that God would provide in this area and that we would see His plan for our lives through our job searching. We have both been submitting resumes for a couple of months now with little response but we are trusting God's provision and His timing.
On that same subject, I have stumbled into an opportunity that I am really excited about. As of this week, I will become a Jockey Person to Person Comfort Consultant. I never thought I would get involved with a direct sales business but I LOVE this product line and I love the woman who brought me into the business. It is just getting off the ground as a direct sales company for the woman's clothing line that is produced by Jockey (the underwear company!). The product is wonderful and the opportunity is wonderful. I love that the sizes range from extra small to 3X so that all woman can enjoy the super comfy stuff that I'll be selling. Anyway, please pray with me that this would be an opportunity that would bless our finances and our lives in general. BTW - Nathan and I believe that this is what God is leading me to do mainly because of Jockey's corporate support of adoption. They have an incredible adoption benefit for their corporate employees and they run a post-adoption program for adoptive families all over the country. The founder of the Jockey Person to Person clothing line is adopted herself! Once we discovered this information, we were thrilled that I had the chance to become involved with a company that supports what we are so focused on, the adoption of children! You can check out Jockey's corporate adoption programs at www.jockeybeingfamily.com.
You can also check out the clothing line that I am selling at www.jockeyp2p.com. If you are interested in supporting my business by making a purchase from the catalog or if you are interested in selling Jockey Person to Person yourself, go ahead and leave a comment for me and I'll help you in any way that I can.
BTW - I noticed my dots are growing in number on the map! Thank you all for taking this journey with us. I am so encouraged just to know that people are reading. And Jane - Just so you know - Your blog was the very first Ethio Adoption blog I ever read. When you left your first comment, I told Nathan I felt like a celebrity had contacted me!!! :) I am so thrilled that you are here and I pray for your family. Thank you for your kind words and for your beautiful blog.
Be blessed everyone! See you when I get back from OKC!!!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Job 1:21
I've seen this amazing video several times on several blogs but it is worth posting again. This little life is so precious and so showing of the need to find God's blessings in all things at all times. I was so touched by this dad's decision to share his son with the world. I am touched deeply every time I watch this video. I hope you will be too.
Nathan - Do not watch this video until you come home. I love you with everything that is in me...
Nathan - Do not watch this video until you come home. I love you with everything that is in me...
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Culture and Language
A few days ago someone commented, wondering how our child would be able to retain his culture and language. We have discussed this particular issue over and over again. Obviously, being a black, Ethiopian born child in a white, American born family has its difficulties. There isn't a way that we can give him the level of culture and language he would have if he were to stay in Ethiopia. But there are ways that we intend to continue to honor his heritage and teach him all about the place he is from. To begin with, I have an incredible, indescribeable passion for Africa. I have always loved and been drawn to Africa. I visited Kenya, one of Ethiopia's bordering neighbors, in January. I often miss Africa and intend to travel there many times. Nathan has traveled extensively and is open to traveling often. We both intend to return to Ethiopia as often as possible with our little one. We hope to be able to travel at least once every other year. The best way to give our son a love for his native country is to bring him there and allow him to develop his own affection for Africa. In addition to travel, we intend to eat ethiopian food at home (or as close as I can get to Ethiopian food in my kitchen!) We also intend to study Ethiopian history in our home and to talk to our son about his birth family and about his country on a regular basis. As far as language goes, I am attempting to learn Amharic as we wait for our adoption process to continue. I speak, read and write Arabic and I believe I am capable of learning at least some base level of the Amharic language. We are intending to adopt an infant. Language may not be something he is interested in as he grows but I do desire to try to grow a passion for language in his life.
The bottom line is, we will do everything we can do to teach our son about where he comes from. We want him to develop his own identity and we want his Ethiopian heritage to be a part of that identity. He will be an American. He will lean toward his American upbringing because that will be the prominent influence in his life. We don't believe that being an American robs him of identity; it just changes the face of who he will grow to be. What we do believe is that if he stays in Ethiopia, he may not live to be an adult. He may never have the opportunity to become the man the Lord desires him to be. Both Nathan and I have stood face to face with the orphans of this world. We have both held sweet, starving, sick young ones in our arms. There are faces of children we could not help that will haunt us forever. Adopting our son is and will be a blessing in our lives and we pray that it will also be a blessing in his life. We will do all we can to teach him about Ethiopia and more importantly, we will do all that we can to teach him about Jesus and to teach him that he is a child of the Most High God. We will pray for him continually and we will love him with all that we have. We pray that that will be enough to raise him into a man that he will be proud to be.
The bottom line is, we will do everything we can do to teach our son about where he comes from. We want him to develop his own identity and we want his Ethiopian heritage to be a part of that identity. He will be an American. He will lean toward his American upbringing because that will be the prominent influence in his life. We don't believe that being an American robs him of identity; it just changes the face of who he will grow to be. What we do believe is that if he stays in Ethiopia, he may not live to be an adult. He may never have the opportunity to become the man the Lord desires him to be. Both Nathan and I have stood face to face with the orphans of this world. We have both held sweet, starving, sick young ones in our arms. There are faces of children we could not help that will haunt us forever. Adopting our son is and will be a blessing in our lives and we pray that it will also be a blessing in his life. We will do all we can to teach him about Ethiopia and more importantly, we will do all that we can to teach him about Jesus and to teach him that he is a child of the Most High God. We will pray for him continually and we will love him with all that we have. We pray that that will be enough to raise him into a man that he will be proud to be.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Library Categories
Earlier today I took the kids to the library for our weekly visit to pick up more books. The older kids were all set up on the library computers playing educational games so I decided to go ahead and take the little one upstairs with me to see if there were any books on adoption that I haven't already purchased. (I've bought so many books at this point! Now I just need to find time to read them between the four kids in the house all day and the thirty teenagers in the youth group.) I went into the online card catalog and found the section that had the adoption books. There were three. Two of them were on domestic adoption. One of them was on international adoption and it didn't look to have a whole lot of information contained within. As disappointing as that was, when I looked on either side of the adoption books, I found books on child abuse and children with ADD and children with emotional and behavioral difficulties. I was shocked that this was the category of books that adoption should fall under. Is there not a place in a public library where adoption books make more sense? Does it say something about the thoughts of the person who categorizes books? Are my children going to be considered "difficult, hard to handle, abused" just because they are adopted? I know of at least one member of our family who believes that our child will be a "bad seed" because we won't give birth to him. Apparently, this is a common misconception, that children who are adopted have terrible issues, that they won't be a blessing but rather, a curse to the family who chooses adoption. I know that our children will have questions, doubts, fears, anxieties, insecurities, all that stem from the loss of their birth family. I pray that we will have the resources, the education, and most of all, the love necessary to help our children through these times. I pray that even through the pain, he will find joy in the love of two families, the family that chose life for him and loved him enough to want the best possible situation for him, and the family that chose to be his forever family, to give him love for the rest of his life, chose to be his mommy and daddy because he is that important. I know all of our days won't be perfect or easy and he won't always be the perfect child and we won't always be the perfect parents, but I believe that God has called us to this journey. I will not be discouraged by other's thoughts or fears, nor will I be discouraged by library categories.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Big News!!!!
Nathan and I decided last night to send in our first piece of paperwork today. We just submitted our adoption information sheet to Gladney Center for Adoptions! We made our final agency decision and went with Gladney. Now our info sheet and our family picture are in the hands of the agency. The next step is for Gladney to approve us to apply and send us the application packet!
We have officially begun!!!!
Here is the family pic I sent to Gladney...
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Another Decision Made
God continues to move us closer to the design He has for our family. Although we have always felt that there are two children waiting for us in Africa, we never considered the possibility that we may not bring them home at the same time. I am learning from my daycare children that it is important for me to begin with an infant, just one infant. I think our hearts to bring home an older child were very much driven by our sense of compassion for orphans and our desire to help the children who don't have an easy time finding a forever home. I don't think that our desires have changed but it is important for us to be realistic about what we can handle. We are not parents yet and we need to take things slowly, really hear what God is calling us to. With all that in mind, we made a decision today to request one infant. I believe, and Nathan has shared this desire many times, that we will pursue another adoption in Ethiopia. Neither of us believes that this journey will be the last of our adoption journies. We've both expressed a desire to adopt a teenager when our first children reach their teen years. I know that we will return to Ethiopia. I have peace that this trip is meant to be a journey for our very first son. I believe that God is using our experiences to guide us and I am so thankful for that. I am so thrilled at the prospect that our dear, sweet son could be in my arms sometime next year. I am thrilled that we have made this decision. I feel like things are moving forward.
Oh, and did I mention, my crib stealing mother in law helped me pick out a wonderful rocker/glider to rock her grandson in?!! Well, she did and it is wonderful. Now lets just hope she buys it for me! (Karen - I'm fond of the solid fabric and the ottoman is great too! :) )
http://www.bestchairs.com/bcpublic/productDetail.do?option=&product=C2517DP&category=CL
Oh, and did I mention, my crib stealing mother in law helped me pick out a wonderful rocker/glider to rock her grandson in?!! Well, she did and it is wonderful. Now lets just hope she buys it for me! (Karen - I'm fond of the solid fabric and the ottoman is great too! :) )
http://www.bestchairs.com/bcpublic/productDetail.do?option=&product=C2517DP&category=CL
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
My Sweet Canine Kids
For those of you who consider your dogs children, I thought I'd share my sweet boys. Nathan is NOT a dog person but he tolerates the boys on my behalf. Hope you enjoy my Whiskey Dog and his brother, Fat Frankie!
Agencies, Daycare, and A Husband Coming Home
In case anyone was worried, I have fully recovered from the crib incident. In fact, I went to Target yesterday with four kids and saw several pregnant women. Not a one of them made me cry!
Four kids. It makes for an interesting day! It seems that God knows my heart and hears my prayers. He has blessed me with the opportunity to care for four wonderful children five days a week until Nathan comes home. Through a series of God directed events, I am now the home day care provider for these four children, ages 10, 8, 7, and 1.5. They are amazing children to watch and to share my days with. I feel so content, so relaxed when they are around. It is odd how a house full of children can make you feel so complete. I still very much long for our own children to come home but caring for the children of friends is such a blessing. It has been such a wonderful experience, poopy diapers and all, that Nathan and I are discussing the possibility of starting our own home daycare business in the Fall once he gets settled in. The only concern I have on this issue is how it may affect the families once our adoption takes place. I know that we will need to have our children be the only children in the house for a while and I don't want to put other families out once it is time for us to go pick up our babies. If anyone has any thoughts on this issue, please leave a comment and let me know what you think.
On another topic, Nathan and I have been researching agencies and initially felt very drawn to AAI out of Washington state. The more I read, the more I become interested in the Gladney Center for Adoption. For some reason, my heart keeps pulling in that direction. Nathan said yesterday that he is feeling the same way. There are so many decisions that can and will affect the rest of our lives. It seems that chosing an agency is one of those decisions. We believe that God has chosen our children, that He knows them and therefore, knows where we must find them. I need to know that our decision about an agency is God directed and NOT Kelly and Nathan directed. So, there we are with the agency issue. No decisions yet. Just prayer.
My last topic of the day is the most exciting one of all! Nathan will be home in just over a month. A month from today, he will be out of Iraq and in the process of returning home to me!!!! As with all things Army, we know that timelines are always subject to change but I'm getting excited just the same. The one interesting tidbit is that I will be traveling July 14 - 20 taking my youth from church on their very first mission trip to Las Vegas. I know...I'm taking teens to Las Vegas...For those of you who think I'm nuts, just remember this: We are called by the most high God to bring the Gospel of His Son to all people, even the least of these. The people in Las Vegas need Jesus. They desperately need Jesus. My youth are on fire for Jesus and they have a wonderful faith that He can change lives. Most of these kids I spend my teaching time with have serious issues. Nearly all of them would be considered "high risk" for things like drug and alcohol use, crime, teenage sex. But none of them want to give in to the labels the world puts on them. They want to succeed and to live their lives for Jesus. I'm so proud of each of them and I can't think of a better group of people to bring Jesus to a lost and dying world. So, how does this pertain to Nathan's grand return? It appears that he will arrive here in Kansas while I am in Las Vegas. I wait two years for this man, and the one week the Army decides to send him home is the one week I positively cannot be present and accounted for. But isn't that the way things go...
Until next time...
Four kids. It makes for an interesting day! It seems that God knows my heart and hears my prayers. He has blessed me with the opportunity to care for four wonderful children five days a week until Nathan comes home. Through a series of God directed events, I am now the home day care provider for these four children, ages 10, 8, 7, and 1.5. They are amazing children to watch and to share my days with. I feel so content, so relaxed when they are around. It is odd how a house full of children can make you feel so complete. I still very much long for our own children to come home but caring for the children of friends is such a blessing. It has been such a wonderful experience, poopy diapers and all, that Nathan and I are discussing the possibility of starting our own home daycare business in the Fall once he gets settled in. The only concern I have on this issue is how it may affect the families once our adoption takes place. I know that we will need to have our children be the only children in the house for a while and I don't want to put other families out once it is time for us to go pick up our babies. If anyone has any thoughts on this issue, please leave a comment and let me know what you think.
On another topic, Nathan and I have been researching agencies and initially felt very drawn to AAI out of Washington state. The more I read, the more I become interested in the Gladney Center for Adoption. For some reason, my heart keeps pulling in that direction. Nathan said yesterday that he is feeling the same way. There are so many decisions that can and will affect the rest of our lives. It seems that chosing an agency is one of those decisions. We believe that God has chosen our children, that He knows them and therefore, knows where we must find them. I need to know that our decision about an agency is God directed and NOT Kelly and Nathan directed. So, there we are with the agency issue. No decisions yet. Just prayer.
My last topic of the day is the most exciting one of all! Nathan will be home in just over a month. A month from today, he will be out of Iraq and in the process of returning home to me!!!! As with all things Army, we know that timelines are always subject to change but I'm getting excited just the same. The one interesting tidbit is that I will be traveling July 14 - 20 taking my youth from church on their very first mission trip to Las Vegas. I know...I'm taking teens to Las Vegas...For those of you who think I'm nuts, just remember this: We are called by the most high God to bring the Gospel of His Son to all people, even the least of these. The people in Las Vegas need Jesus. They desperately need Jesus. My youth are on fire for Jesus and they have a wonderful faith that He can change lives. Most of these kids I spend my teaching time with have serious issues. Nearly all of them would be considered "high risk" for things like drug and alcohol use, crime, teenage sex. But none of them want to give in to the labels the world puts on them. They want to succeed and to live their lives for Jesus. I'm so proud of each of them and I can't think of a better group of people to bring Jesus to a lost and dying world. So, how does this pertain to Nathan's grand return? It appears that he will arrive here in Kansas while I am in Las Vegas. I wait two years for this man, and the one week the Army decides to send him home is the one week I positively cannot be present and accounted for. But isn't that the way things go...
Until next time...
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Crib Causes Breakdown
Today was one of those days that started out with a ton of potential and turned into a meltdown nightmare.
I went garage saleing with my mother in law this morning and it started off rather fun. We were both excited for a girl's day out together and we knew we'd find some fun treasures. We headed out and shopped a few sales and even ran into a cousin and her five wonderful children. I promptly volunteered to take the five kids any weekend that she and her wonderful husband wanted to journey out on their own. She was thrilled and promised to take me up on the offer sooner rather than later. While we were at that particular sale, I found the sweetest little tuxedo for two dollars and decided it was something I had to have. (Mind you, I bought my wedding dress nearly two years before I met my husband. Sometimes a certain thing just has to come home with you.) So, then we head on to another batch of sales and out of the corner of my eye, I see this beautiful crib. I decide we should go around the block and look at some other things first and if it was still there when we were done, I'd take a look at it. We finally arrive at the house with the crib and I am instantly in love. It is solid oak, not a scratch on it. It is one of those fabulous convertible beds that goes from crib to toddler bed to twin bed to queen bed. I suggest that it would be perfect and I could set it up in our guest room as a twin or queen bed for now. I am getting nearly giddy because I know that no matter who our child is to be, this bed will work. It would be just as useful for an eight year old as it would be for a infant. So, I'm convinced that along with my two dollar tuxedo, I need this crib/bed contraption. My mother in law is not nearly as convinced. She mentions that I don't even have the potential to have children right now, so I do NOT need this bed. Well, that just hit me right in the gut. I know she is right. My husband is thousands of miles away and our adoption process isn't even close to being started. I just wanted to be excited about this great bed. I think I just want to be excited about our kids without someone shooting me down.
To make matters worse, I suggest we call my brother in law and tell him about the bed. I obviously wasn't thinking. My brother in law has one son and another baby on the way. He does need a bed like that. He bought the bed. I'm glad that the bed will be useful for them. They apparently DO have the potential to have children at this time.
Due to this unforseen emotional crisis with this lovely oak bed, I've been bawling throughout the day at the most ridiculous times. I can't seem to stop crying.
Nathan is online now. I'll end for tonight.
I went garage saleing with my mother in law this morning and it started off rather fun. We were both excited for a girl's day out together and we knew we'd find some fun treasures. We headed out and shopped a few sales and even ran into a cousin and her five wonderful children. I promptly volunteered to take the five kids any weekend that she and her wonderful husband wanted to journey out on their own. She was thrilled and promised to take me up on the offer sooner rather than later. While we were at that particular sale, I found the sweetest little tuxedo for two dollars and decided it was something I had to have. (Mind you, I bought my wedding dress nearly two years before I met my husband. Sometimes a certain thing just has to come home with you.) So, then we head on to another batch of sales and out of the corner of my eye, I see this beautiful crib. I decide we should go around the block and look at some other things first and if it was still there when we were done, I'd take a look at it. We finally arrive at the house with the crib and I am instantly in love. It is solid oak, not a scratch on it. It is one of those fabulous convertible beds that goes from crib to toddler bed to twin bed to queen bed. I suggest that it would be perfect and I could set it up in our guest room as a twin or queen bed for now. I am getting nearly giddy because I know that no matter who our child is to be, this bed will work. It would be just as useful for an eight year old as it would be for a infant. So, I'm convinced that along with my two dollar tuxedo, I need this crib/bed contraption. My mother in law is not nearly as convinced. She mentions that I don't even have the potential to have children right now, so I do NOT need this bed. Well, that just hit me right in the gut. I know she is right. My husband is thousands of miles away and our adoption process isn't even close to being started. I just wanted to be excited about this great bed. I think I just want to be excited about our kids without someone shooting me down.
To make matters worse, I suggest we call my brother in law and tell him about the bed. I obviously wasn't thinking. My brother in law has one son and another baby on the way. He does need a bed like that. He bought the bed. I'm glad that the bed will be useful for them. They apparently DO have the potential to have children at this time.
Due to this unforseen emotional crisis with this lovely oak bed, I've been bawling throughout the day at the most ridiculous times. I can't seem to stop crying.
Nathan is online now. I'll end for tonight.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
The Pre-Journey
Yesterday was a bit of a down day for me. Even though we haven't started our process yet, we are fully engaged in discussion and obsession about our children and about all of the possibilities that exist. Throughout our discussion process, I go up and I go down. There are days that I can't wait another minute and I want to fill out the paperwork today even though it won't make a bit of difference. Then there are days that my trust button turns on and I am able to see the Lord working in us to prepare us for our children. These are the days that allow me to relax and be hopeful and excited.
As a part of my preparation for adopting an older child, I have taken on the task of watching the eight year old daughter of one of the parents of a teen in my youth group (I'm the youth director at our church). She spends five hours a day with me, four days a week. It is a minute glimpse into what life as a stay at home mom might be like. She arrives at 7 am and leaves between noon and one. We watch the Disney channel and she swims in the pool (the water is still far too cold for me). I make her breakfast and feed her healthy snacks. She offers to help with things and it makes my heart melt. Then she refuses to wake from her nap, and I realize that eight year olds aren't all fun and games. She is wonderful to have around and I've realized in the short time that she has been here that I am already incredibly protective of her. I want to shield her from any of the garbage that I see pouring out of our television. I want to make sure that she doesn't hit her head in the pool and I remind her to be careful over and over again, despite her fish like ability to manuever in the water. Her presence in our home is teaching me how desperate my heart is for children of our own. I know that Nathan's presence in our home in just six short weeks will make my longing for children all the more strong.
I've also been thinking about the purpose of this blog for the next six months. Most people begin their blogs sometime near the start of their paperwork process. I've got a solid six months to go before we are even able to submit our application. So, I believe that this will be a place of refuge for our emotional journey from here to the beginning of our paperwork journey. I pray that it will be a place where I can be encouraged and maybe a place where searching people will be able to find their own call to adopt. Maybe it is just the only way I can feel like I am DOING something other than just waiting for our 2nd anniversary. (Our agency will not let us apply to adopt until we have been married two years.) I think that I will share some of our unique decisions, such as using birth control and desiring to adopt an older child, and the reasons behind those decisions. I'm sure I will share many tidbits of entirely useless information. I hope that I can touch someone's life through this blog as I have been so touched by the blogs of so many others. If you do choose to follow along with us, we are grateful for your presence. We covet your prayers, first for God's will in our lives, but also for a job for Nathan that will allow us to proceed with our adoption plans in December, for our ability to downsize our lives and spend money wisely, for paitence for me as we wait to begin the process, for a wonderful reunion with Nathan in July, for Nathan's reintegration into our lives and into American society, for our children - whomever they are, for their safety and for great amounts of love in their lives, for our children's family - that they would be held in the hands of God and that they would know that their children will be loved and cared for, for God's provision as I move forward on plans to travel to Ethiopia in March to help out in the Layla House and AHOPE orphanages, and just for peace for our families throughout this process. We thank you for being a part of our lives through this blog. We thank you for your prayers. Most of all we thank all of you adoption bloggers for the amazing insight you have all given us as we stand on the edge of persuing our own children.
As a part of my preparation for adopting an older child, I have taken on the task of watching the eight year old daughter of one of the parents of a teen in my youth group (I'm the youth director at our church). She spends five hours a day with me, four days a week. It is a minute glimpse into what life as a stay at home mom might be like. She arrives at 7 am and leaves between noon and one. We watch the Disney channel and she swims in the pool (the water is still far too cold for me). I make her breakfast and feed her healthy snacks. She offers to help with things and it makes my heart melt. Then she refuses to wake from her nap, and I realize that eight year olds aren't all fun and games. She is wonderful to have around and I've realized in the short time that she has been here that I am already incredibly protective of her. I want to shield her from any of the garbage that I see pouring out of our television. I want to make sure that she doesn't hit her head in the pool and I remind her to be careful over and over again, despite her fish like ability to manuever in the water. Her presence in our home is teaching me how desperate my heart is for children of our own. I know that Nathan's presence in our home in just six short weeks will make my longing for children all the more strong.
I've also been thinking about the purpose of this blog for the next six months. Most people begin their blogs sometime near the start of their paperwork process. I've got a solid six months to go before we are even able to submit our application. So, I believe that this will be a place of refuge for our emotional journey from here to the beginning of our paperwork journey. I pray that it will be a place where I can be encouraged and maybe a place where searching people will be able to find their own call to adopt. Maybe it is just the only way I can feel like I am DOING something other than just waiting for our 2nd anniversary. (Our agency will not let us apply to adopt until we have been married two years.) I think that I will share some of our unique decisions, such as using birth control and desiring to adopt an older child, and the reasons behind those decisions. I'm sure I will share many tidbits of entirely useless information. I hope that I can touch someone's life through this blog as I have been so touched by the blogs of so many others. If you do choose to follow along with us, we are grateful for your presence. We covet your prayers, first for God's will in our lives, but also for a job for Nathan that will allow us to proceed with our adoption plans in December, for our ability to downsize our lives and spend money wisely, for paitence for me as we wait to begin the process, for a wonderful reunion with Nathan in July, for Nathan's reintegration into our lives and into American society, for our children - whomever they are, for their safety and for great amounts of love in their lives, for our children's family - that they would be held in the hands of God and that they would know that their children will be loved and cared for, for God's provision as I move forward on plans to travel to Ethiopia in March to help out in the Layla House and AHOPE orphanages, and just for peace for our families throughout this process. We thank you for being a part of our lives through this blog. We thank you for your prayers. Most of all we thank all of you adoption bloggers for the amazing insight you have all given us as we stand on the edge of persuing our own children.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Isaiah 43:1
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
I began blogging when I was struggling deeply with my husband's deployment to Iraq. His name is Nathan, by the way. I didn't blog regularly, and despite his still current status in Iraq, I don't often visit that blog. I go there when I have no where else to go, no one else to talk to. Today, it seems, I have spoken enough about our dreams of adoption. No one but Nathan wants to hear any more about it. Partly because we can't begin our adoption yet due to the ever continuing saga of deployment and partly, I think, because our (make that Nathan's) family isn't really convinced that this will happen. So, I find myself without anyone to talk to again. This time it concerns my children, last time it was my husband.
I believe that the above quoted scripture is God's strong voice in my life. Nathan and I have been "unconventional" from the beginning. I think many of his family members are still reeling from our decision to marry just before a deployment. Maybe they are still reeling from our decision to marry after a short long distance courtship. Maybe they are reeling from his choice of a rather unconventional wife (at least by mid western standards). Since we met, we've been on a steady diet of God's surprises and His radical moves in our lives. Adoption has been part of our discussion since our second date. Africa has been a part of our hearts for well over a year. Ethiopia became our focus just a short while ago. We believe that there are two children out there who are ours, who wait for us. I can already feel them in my heart. We are open to who God has chosen for us and we are standing on His faithfulness to reveal our children to us. I believe that God responds to willing hearts. Nathan and I have never had a desire to be ordinary or to be comfortable. We want to live a life that is led by the Creator, the Navigator, the Guide. We want to raise children who will live unashamed of the Gospel, who will live radical, sold out lives for Jesus. Children learn by experience, not by lip service.
So here we are "redeemed" believing that we have been "summoned" as have our children. We are trusting Him, putting our sold out faith in His Word, His promise that He has summoned each of us by name, that He knows each of our children, and that we are all His. Nathan is due home in July. We don't desire to wait much beyond his return to pursue our children. We desire to trust God and believe that He is faithful and that He will lead us and guide us. If you are reading this, you have become my outlet, my go to person, the one who will not judge but who understands. I pray that our family will soon join your ranks and get on board. If they do not, we will press on. Our children's lives depend on our persistence and our faithfulness.
I began blogging when I was struggling deeply with my husband's deployment to Iraq. His name is Nathan, by the way. I didn't blog regularly, and despite his still current status in Iraq, I don't often visit that blog. I go there when I have no where else to go, no one else to talk to. Today, it seems, I have spoken enough about our dreams of adoption. No one but Nathan wants to hear any more about it. Partly because we can't begin our adoption yet due to the ever continuing saga of deployment and partly, I think, because our (make that Nathan's) family isn't really convinced that this will happen. So, I find myself without anyone to talk to again. This time it concerns my children, last time it was my husband.
I believe that the above quoted scripture is God's strong voice in my life. Nathan and I have been "unconventional" from the beginning. I think many of his family members are still reeling from our decision to marry just before a deployment. Maybe they are still reeling from our decision to marry after a short long distance courtship. Maybe they are reeling from his choice of a rather unconventional wife (at least by mid western standards). Since we met, we've been on a steady diet of God's surprises and His radical moves in our lives. Adoption has been part of our discussion since our second date. Africa has been a part of our hearts for well over a year. Ethiopia became our focus just a short while ago. We believe that there are two children out there who are ours, who wait for us. I can already feel them in my heart. We are open to who God has chosen for us and we are standing on His faithfulness to reveal our children to us. I believe that God responds to willing hearts. Nathan and I have never had a desire to be ordinary or to be comfortable. We want to live a life that is led by the Creator, the Navigator, the Guide. We want to raise children who will live unashamed of the Gospel, who will live radical, sold out lives for Jesus. Children learn by experience, not by lip service.
So here we are "redeemed" believing that we have been "summoned" as have our children. We are trusting Him, putting our sold out faith in His Word, His promise that He has summoned each of us by name, that He knows each of our children, and that we are all His. Nathan is due home in July. We don't desire to wait much beyond his return to pursue our children. We desire to trust God and believe that He is faithful and that He will lead us and guide us. If you are reading this, you have become my outlet, my go to person, the one who will not judge but who understands. I pray that our family will soon join your ranks and get on board. If they do not, we will press on. Our children's lives depend on our persistence and our faithfulness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
